LOS ANGELES — Yesterday’s discussion about polyamory between long-term couple Seth Roberts and Lindsey Wareheim came as a huge relief to Nick Siamas, the guy…
LOS ANGELES — “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” head writer Stephen Sanders has completely run out of the show’s trademark “especially heinous” plotlines, sources…
LOS ANGELES — Alt-right conservative commentator Ben Shapiro pulled his pants all the way down around his ankles yesterday to use the urinal in a…
Let’s face it, regular spreader events do not make front page news anymore. Those dum-dum journalists are just not interested in reporting “The Queen’s Gambit”…
BOISE, Idaho — A days-long investigation into the 2020 Wrapped list of local man Evan Burghart was revealed to be heavily edited in order to…
Hey! I said HEY!!! Shut up for a second. God damn. Look, just because I’m a white cis male doesn’t mean that I don’t see…
DENVER — Unemployed linguistics major Steve Carter spent hours looking through job boards yesterday before ultimately declining to apply for any positions upon noticing the…
Here at Hot Topic, the air is thick with unrest and Manic Panic hair dye fumes, and the site where brave teen activist, Kimmy Lopez,…
BANGOR, Maine — Middle-aged goth Richard Irwin stashed his collection of The Cure’s landmark fourth album “Pornography” in the woods behind his house yesterday to…
Put down that well-done fillet mignon, king! Sure, it tastes good and isn’t full of foodborne pathogens, but you’re missing out on the greatest health…
BALTIMORE — An obviously broken phone that you for some reason refuse to replace reportedly does still work, assuming you don’t need to use it…
I hate 311. They are my nemesis. Why, you ask? Because they committed the worst crime of all. Something I would not wish upon my…
CHICAGO — Hip hop artist and aspiring real estate tycoon Chancelor Johnathan Bennett, known professionally as Chance the Rapper, plans to collaborate next with his…