NEW YORK — Indimus rockimus bards Titus Andronicus doth declarimus the approaching releasimus of an albumimus christened An Obelisk, according to a decree bestowed by…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary emo quartet Rockem Sockem Gobots announced today a 10th anniversary tour celebrating their record Stunted Descension, playing the album in its…
FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. — The singer and one guitarist of punk octet TetrisTetris surprised the other six members of their band yesterday that a new record,…
SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo experienced one of the most productive periods of his career last week, when his trip to a…
PHILADELPHIA — Local songwriter Nate Oldham filed his taxes today, deducting the entirety of his ill-fated eight-month relationship as a necessary business expense, Oldham’s Schedule…
TORONTO — Local man Thoman McKechnie discovered late last night that punk band PUP’s new album Morbid Stuff syncs up perfectly over the sound of…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Local woman Carrie Schwalbach’s new boyfriend is nothing more than a reissued edition of her ex with new cover art, disappointing…
TRENTON, N.J. — Seven people were injured at the Starlight Ballroom on Saturday night trying to avoid free albums tossed from the stage by “the…
TORRANCE, Calif. — Longtime punk and father Al Diaz thoroughly interrogated his teenage daughter’s new boyfriend last night about which five Black Flag songs are…
GREEN BAY, Wis. — Local poser Adam Luis-Meyers narrowly reached the end moments ago of a two-hour long conversation about an album he’s never actually…
LARAMIE, Wyo. — Popular skate-punk band Teenage Bottlerocket are reportedly working on their eighth studio album, which is said to feature their second-ever song, sources…
CLEVELAND — Metalhead Tom Stanza was deeply perplexed yesterday by the ambiguous review of metal band Gorefucker’s newest album Toxic Cum, confused sources confirmed. “First…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Aging punk Archie Simpson was left speechless last night after discovering his 10-year-old cousin ironically listening to an album he considers “life-changing,”…
SAN DIEGO — Local hardcore kid and Terror fan Aidan Bennett purchased a new dental insurance plan yesterday in anticipation of the band’s upcoming release…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local Get Up Kids fan Will Landis referred last week to the band’s 1999 release Something to Write Home About as their…