TUKWILA, Wash. — Tukwila musicians of all genres are mourning today after the town’s only competent drummer, Jeffrey Joyce, announced last night his intention to…
PHILADELPHIA — 9-year-old guitarist Tommy Moran is already rising as a “punk musician to watch,” thanks to his seemingly preternatural ability to completely suck at…
Really? You want to be that guy with the homemade guitar? Ok, well I’m not going to tell you how to live your life. Here’s…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — The guitarist and songwriter of a popular metal band was accused yesterday of using excessive umlauts in his tacit admission to…
Remember what you said about us needing more transparency? Well I just added about $350 of it, plus tax. Seriously, babe, when I kick this…
LOS ANGELES — Prolific metal guitarist Buckethead finally revealed the origin of his nickname today at a press conference, settling a long-standing debate once and…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Renowned MIT physicist Lawrence Gordon inspired the scientific world early last week when he nearly retrieved a pick out of his acoustic…
TOLEDO, Ohio — Veteran roadie Rick Bedford lived out his lifelong dream last week of tuning a guitar in front of a sold out audience…
DANBURY, Conn. — Guitar Center employee Gavin Keane was demoted earlier today to a post at Tambourine Center for failing to show any musical competence,…
MILWAUKEE — Short Division guitarist Steve Hernandez has started a true crime podcast to share his findings as he investigates who is changing the settings…
There are no two ways about it: I’m a BOSS. Do I have to spell it out for you? B-O-S-S, BOSS! I’ve been in the…
CORONA, Calif. — Fender Guitars will now include a prewritten Craigslist “for sale” ad inside every new Squier Stratocaster starter pack to help consumers re-sell…
RIVERBANK, Calif. — Meshuggah’s latest album The Violent Sleep Of Reason is riddled with hidden Morse code distress patterns from guitarist Fredrik Thordendal, according to…
Ever since early man first started fucking around on guitar, punk music has been reducible to three essential power chords. This trinity comprises the substrate…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — California state lawmakers held an emergency vote on Proposition 64 last night, requiring marijuana dispensary employees to play guitar for a minimum…