MADISON, Wis. — 14-year-old nu metal fan and novice Boy Scout Calvin Nelson is reportedly only interested in learning about the slipknot, frustrated sources confirmed.…
DENVER — Local woman Caitlin Baker recently celebrated her fully vaccinated status by dropping her dating standards to an all-time low, concerned friends and family…
CHICAGO — Local stoner Lukas James accidentally tasted his first apple in over ten years last week after using it to construct a homemade smoking…
It’s one of those few things that everyone in the country can easily depend on to make a quick 30 bucks. Whether for medical bills…
TOLEDO, Ohio — A desperate plea for help shared via Facebook post by local woman Andrea Copeland has been garnering a ton of likes, according…
SEATTLE — Local Chacos-wearing woman Stevie Saintclaire recently found love with Tevas fanatic Zak Richards as the two bonded over their affinity for the strappy…
COMMACK, N.Y. — Local man who can’t seem to catch a break Josh Crabtree had a brief moment of celebration after paying off his student…
SEATTLE — A coalition of ‘90s doctors announced this morning that fully vaccinated individuals are safe to peruse each other’s overstuffed CD binders in a…
CHICAGO — Local Tinder bot Jennifer, 29, whose existence centers on driving lonely men to fraudulent dating sites, organically stopped spamming anyone under six feet…
Ugh. Give us a second. Just a second. Our fucking head. This fucking sucks. Why did we think it would be a good idea to…
CHICAGO — Local man and self-proclaimed foodie Harry Blanks unhinged his jaw like a Burmese Python in order to take a bite of the coveted…
BALLARD RESIDENCE — A disturbing and highly scientific new study has found that I, Gary Ballard, the extremely parched breadwinner that works too damn hard…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Local house sitter and frequent self gratifier David Baker is currently debating how long into his job he is expected to go…
Yo, what’s up internet?! It’s about time for an EPIC top 5 countdown about — yup, you guessed it — situations where my IBS was…
Whether you’re trying to class up your parents’ basement, a squat, or a humble street corner, there is no denying the sense of luxury a…