EUGENE, OR – As touring punk band Blüd Borne settled in at “The Punkin’ House” after a show Wednesday night, bassist Mark “Sparf” Ludlow called…
TEMPE, Arizona — Your normie, non-punk girlfriend, who you’ve been with since early high school, is thrilled that you invited 15 of your friends from…
BREAKING: Early reports indicate your Malaysian Facebook friend wants your defunct high-school band, Pig Abortions, to “come tour [Malaysia] already.” The friend, who added you three…
AUSTIN, Texas – In a blatant display of entitlement, touring band Cheap Shot reportedly demanded legal, minted U.S. dollars — in virtually any form — in exchange for not…
DIXIE, Ga. – After a long, hard battle with their host’s shower, touring band The Hammer and Nail have reportedly broken the shower’s handle and…
DIXIE, Ga. – After several hours of futile attempts, not a single member of hardcore band The Hammer and Nail has figured out how to operate the tub-shower unit in their host’s…
ST. PAUL, Minn. – Vocalist Tom Gant is known to lash out against oppression, misogyny, and bigotry while on stage with his band Cold Shot.…
PARIS, FRANCE – Motörhead frontman and legendary rock star, Lemmy Kilmister, confided in his bandmates that he would be waiting until the end of their tour…
PHILADELPHIA — His Holiness Pope Francis spent a significant amount of time after his sermon in Philadelphia today chatting up followers gathered outside the cathedral,…
MILWAUKEE – Local convenience store clerk Mark Winston is afraid to request time off from the dead-end job he despises, despite his band’s seven-day midwestern…
CHICAGO – Chasing the waning popularity of nostalgia-driven reunion shows, legendary Oi! band Booze Crews announced they will be playing their first show in almost 20…
OAKLAND, Calif – Local fuck-up, Johnny Fuck-Up, best known for the time he stage dove with a roman candle up his ass at Burnt Ramen…
PHILADELPHIA, Penn. – With it becoming harder and harder to turn a profit as a touring band, some musicians are going to great lengths to save every…
BOSTON – Legendary hardcore band Bane is hitting the road once again on a tour they’re saying is their last, until the next one. Bass player…
SEATTLE – Just moments after you left for work this morning, members of touring straight edge band ClearlyxStraight started their search for your soap. According…