Buckle up fuckers, it’s morphin’ time! K.A. Applegate’s Animorphs books were some of the most popular and traumatic YA stories ever told. The diverse cast of preteens-turned-war criminals were easy for 90s kids to relate to, except for when they were utilizing the disturbing body-horror of their morphing powers, of course. So, which twisted Clive Barker fever dream of a terribly altered human child are you? Take this quiz to find out!
How do you handle being put in a position of authority?
Really well. Fine. It’s fine
Distract everyone with my sense of humor so they don’t notice when I make ruthless decisions without them
POWER IS LITERALLY ALL I CRAVE
I’m not sure I’m the most logical choice for this position, although I am objectively smarter than anybody else on this planet
Immediately fumbling the great and terrible gift I’m given
Correct!
Wrong!
When’s the last time you called your mom?
We talk a few times per week
Just this morning. I have to keep up appearances
I can’t call her because everyone else thinks she’s dead
Ah, I believe you are referring to the primitive human telephone. It is far too rudimentary a device to be used for contacting my mother.
Correct!
Wrong!
How do you react to confrontation?
With confidence and strength
Talk shit, get hit
Avoid eye contact. No sudden movements
By talking shit and getting hit
Correct!
Wrong!
Do you have a Yeerk in your head right now?
No
Yes
If I did, I would not hesitate to end my life with my own blade
No (lol I totally do)
Correct!
Wrong!
If you found a wounded alien alone in an empty construction site, how would you react?
Help him out. I have a pathological need to fix all broken creatures
Say hi real quick, but pretend you have somewhere else to be
Do whatever he tells you. Accept that fate has only terrible things in store
“Dad?!
Keep walking, but make a reference to The X-Files so people focus on you
Correct!
Wrong!
If you could turn into any animal, what would it be?
A predator, so I can kill stuff
A beautiful butterfly. But I would sit perfectly still, so that I don’t accidentally cause a hurricane by flapping my wings.
A bird. And then I’d stay in morph so long I’m trapped forever. I am so sad.
Something cute like a fluffy cat. Or a puppy? Whatever would make people love me.
A rat. No, a possum. Whatever animal is the most punk. I am punk, you see. It’s why I’m on this website.
Correct!
Wrong!
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QUIZ: Which Hideous Partially-Transformed Animorph Are You?
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