When I first saw The Hard Cores, I thought they were just bad. I mean, spectacularly bad. They had no bass player, the drummer kept stopping in the middle of songs to scratch her junk, and they played a song called “M’Lady.”
But the laughs these guys got were incredible. You’ve never seen an audience fall apart in glee like this crowd did when the singer walked across the stage with a floppy, wet piece of toilet paper trailing from the bottom of his shoe. I quickly realized The Hard Cores could be the next great musical-comedy act, like a punk rock Lonely Island, or even a punk rock NOFX. So I sat down with frontman James Doran, drummer Brenda Marsh, and guitarist Keith Ho to talk about their hilarious journey.
Hard Times: Thanks for taking the time to sit down with us. So you guys seem to heighten a lot of the tropes of terrible bands. Missing a bass player, being unprepared, ridiculous outfits, etc. What was the inspiration for that? Were any of you in real bands growing up?
Doran: We… are a real band.
Hard Times: I guess that’s true. Comedy music is still music. Some of those Flight of the Conchords songs are real earworms! I guess what I mean is that the difference between you and them is talent. Those guys know what they’re doing musically, whereas your band’s whole schtick is about leaning into ineptitude. What was the catalyst behind that?
Marsh: Well, to be honest, a lot of the words you just said went right over my head, but like any band, we take practice pretty serious. But we don’t want to sound too neat, either, you know? That’s why we don’t have a bass player.
Hard Times: So what first inspired you to go combine music and comedy? Did one come first?
Doran: I don’t follow. We’ve always been dedicated to our music.
Hard Times: Haha, good one! Man you guys really commit to character.
Doran: Character?
Hard Times: One of your most famous bits was the one where you pretended to forget your own songs and just did Raffi covers for the rest of the night. How come you’ve only done it once? It was such a hit!
Ho: That was actually a really difficult night for us. Playing “Baby Beluga” helped us feel comforted. Why is that so funny to you?
Hard Times: You have to stop, I’m gonna pee myself!
Doran: Stop What?
Hard Times: Uhm… hmm. Hey I know what would be fun! I’m just gonna throw out some random words and you tell me if you identify that word with what you guys do. Ok first word, music.
Doran: Absolutely.
Hard Times: Comedy.
(silence)
Hard Times: Wow. Ok yeah I think I have everything I need here, thank you for your time!
Marsh: So when does this come out? We could share it on our facebook page.
Doran: We only have 5 right now but they are all super hot girls.
Hard Times: Sorry I’m late for uh, something else.
Ok, so it turns out the Hard Cores are not a comedy rock band. Either that, or they are an extremely committed comedy rock band, and throwing a brick through my window with a note tied to it reading “print our interview or else” is a high concept bit.