Quintessential indie rock band Pavement has crafted some of the most iconic independent music of the last 30 years, and their influence has left its mark on many of the staff here at The Hard Times. But let’s face it: The band isn’t getting any younger, and neither are we, so when we sat down to write a retrospective piece, we couldn’t help but wonder: Are these Pavement lyrics, or are we all having a stroke? Please take this quiz and help us figure out if we need to go to the hospital immediately!
1. “Blind date with the chancer, we had oysters and dry lancers, and the check when it arrived, we went dutch, dutch, dutch, dutch”
Pavement lyrics
The rantings of someone currently having a stroke
Correct!
Wrong!
2. “Whistled missin’ missiles, I play god like Richard Nixon, check the vessels for a message dressed in petals.”
Pavement lyrics
The rantings of someone currently having a stroke
Correct!
Wrong!
3. “My eyes stick to all the shiny robes you wear on the protein delta strip, in an abandoned houseboat I will wait there, I’ll be waitin’, waitin’, waitin’, waitin’, waitin’, waitin’, waitin’, waitin’, waitin’, Go!”
Pavement Lyrics
The rantings of someone currently having a stroke
Correct!
Wrong!
4. “I’m in a daze and tastin’ copper, talk in riddles like an imposter, while I’m waitin’ for a doctor to check out my pupils proper.”
Pavement Lyrics
The rantings of someone currently having a stroke
Correct!
Wrong!
5. “I keep my address to yourself ‘cuz we need secrets, we need secret-cret-cret-cret-crets back right now.”
Pavement lyrics
The rantings of someone currently having a stroke
Correct!
Wrong!
6. “My entire left side is numb and I’m experiencing a sense of disorientation, along with short-term memory loss.”
Pavement lyrics
“My entire left side is numb and I’m experiencing a sense of disorientation, along with short-term memory loss.”
Correct!
Wrong!
7. “Charge it like a puzzle, hitmen wearin’ muzzles, hesitate you die, look around, around, the second drummer drowned, his telephone is found.”
Pavement Lyrics
The rantings of someone currently having a stroke
Correct!
Wrong!
8. “So-so-so-so-so-something feels very wrong, I think I need to lay down for a mi-mi-mi-mi-nute.”
Pavement lyrics
The rantings of someone having a stroke
Correct!
Wrong!
9. “Amateur sea salt gatherers colonized, good enough for Conrad Hilton, not good enough for my eyes. I trust you will tell me if I am making a fool of myself.”
Pavement lyrics
The rantings of someone currently having a stroke
Correct!
Wrong!
10. “(Inaudible gurgling and slurred speech)”
Correct!
Wrong!
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Quiz: Are These Pavement Lyrics or Are We Having a Stroke?
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So there you have it, can you guess if we’re having a stroke or if we’re just diehard Pavemaniacs? And could you let us know within like the next ten minutes because we’re starting to get a little belt wrench commander. I mean worried.