LOS ANGELES — The wardrobe department for last night’s episode of long-running procedural “NCIS: Los Angeles” dressed a “punk” character in an Aerosmith T-shirt and denim vest, multiple viewers confirmed.
“I always dread whenever the writers give us one of these counterculture characters, because I never know how to dress them,” complained wardrobe assistant Emily Bailey. “So, of course, when they gave us the notes for this drug dealer character, they wanted a punk type. I know a few bands like Good Charlotte… but I don’t think that’s the look they were going for. My friend mentioned that Target always has a bunch of old band T-shirts, so I went there and grabbed Aerosmith, AC/DC, and The Doors shirts, just so I had some options.”
The 24-year-old assistant, who primarily listens to Top 40 hits, sought guidance from the producers, who were dismissive of her requests for help.
“Look, I just coordinate with the studio. It’s not my job to know what they dress like. Isn’t that what we pay her for?” said producer Bill McKinney. “Punks are just those smelly guys in the leather jackets and the dumb haircuts who would cut class to smoke. Everyone knows that, so this shouldn’t be too hard for her. Just give the guy a cigarette and have him look pissed when Chris O’Donnell talks to him and we’re in business.”
Music historian Britton Hart has long fought for better punk representation in Hollywood.
“The ’80s did irreparable damage to properly dressing punk characters: every punk seems to have a perfectly groomed mohawk, lip ring, and not a single stick-and-poke tattoo in sight,” said Hart. “But dressing a character in an Aerosmith shirt and naming him ‘Scuzzwad’ is particularly egregious and offensive. Every show should be required to cast one staff member who once attended a basement show where the cover charge was a six pack of beer. That would solve everything.”
At press time, Bailey had submitted her two weeks notice after being assigned to dress a band “GWAR-like.”