GREEN BAY, Wisc. — Local punk and BurntBridge frontman Zach Maron live-streamed an intimate acoustic show on Instagram late last night with the belief that his crush, Katie Gold, was likely watching from her roommates’ account.
“I didn’t see her join, but I’m pretty certain Katie was watching. I mean, she definitely saw the alert, and absolutely would want to watch my stream, and her roommate Mara was watching, so they were probably both watching from Mara’s phone,” Maron stated confidently while brainstorming more words that rhyme with “Katie.” “I played all the songs she used to quote in her AIM away message, so, yeah, I think she got the message pretty clear. Maybe I’ll shoot her a text later in the week and subtly reference the stream to see what’s what.”
Gold admitted she was aware of the stream and could hear it on her roommate’s phone, but did not realize the subtext behind the song choices.
“I overheard Mara watching while I was in the kitchen — it sounded great. I recognized all those songs from way back when,” she commented while swiping through Hinge completely oblivious of the several years-spanning crush. “He covered ‘Screaming Infidelities’ like, four times. It was awesome! I love that line about ‘the bottle of Beast.’ I used to quote that in my AIM away message.”
However, BurntBridge bassist Beth Adams was pessimistic about the courting attempt.
“As soon as he mentioned going live on Instagram, I knew exactly what he was thinking,” Adams said, shaking her head in disappointment. “He’s gonna play a bunch of 2000s emo songs that he knows Katie is into in the hopes that she’ll see… but like, dude, we’re all stuck inside and can’t see other people for a while. Now is the time to just text her. If you crash and burn, you don’t have to see another human being for probably months.”
At press time, Maron posted an offer to sew and mail out DIY face masks to anyone interested in a passive attempt to communicate with his crush while simultaneously not saying a single word to her.