SPRINGFIELD, Mass. — Staff and audience members at the newly reopened Cherry Pit reported a puzzling stench that may be as serious a health risk…
Here at The Hard Times, we’re always trying to push science into new frontiers. We thought the Stanford marshmallow experiment was cool, but wanted to…
On our way to complete an interview for a deadline that passed a couple weeks ago, Johnny 5-0 decided to do their duty as fascist…
WASHINGTON — Sitting President Donald Trump approached the highest court in the United States to demand that votes stop being counted, including an extra request…
HOUSTON — Locked-down towns across America are seeing record levels of citizens dressing up as famed frontman Glenn Danzig following months of little to no…
CICERO, Ill. — Underpaid Target cashier and generally exhausted person Paolo Morte is considering getting into stealing goods from his place of employment after realizing…
I’ve heard a lot of my fellow Americans question the moral compass and general decency of the fine men and women who serve in our…
CARSON CITY, Nev. — Local quarantined woman Laura Lamont found a creative way to stay busy indoors yesterday by repurposing a bunch of broken glass…
This holiday season, we here at The Hard Times wanted to offer our audience something nice. With all those expensive goods wrapped up and sitting…
LOS ANGELES — Lifelong punk Jonny Horowitz tried to solve every “Wheel of Fortune” puzzle during her taping last week with just the three letters…
When the opportunity to interview Green Day came up, we at The Hard Times were ecstatic. What couldn’t be gained from the wealth, both of…
ALLSTON, Mass. — Teachers and students at Allston High School were enthusiastically told moments ago by goth classmate Willow Bates that pagans invented the entire…
SAN ANTONIO — Local Guitar Center shoppers found today an entirely new section at the store labeled the “Female Section,” which was filled only with…
NEW ORLEANS — Local band Missing Feed was listed under the name “All Female” on the official flyer for this year’s Storyville Fest, much to…
SEATTLE — Vertex Solutions employee and local bassist Gretchen Garcia is leading the fight to expand paid leave to musicians wanting to spend time with…