BALTIMORE — Local introvert Katie Pidacter quietly hoped yesterday that no one would remember her birthday this year, in order to avoid the looming pressure…
PHILADELPHIA — Friend-of-a-friend and uninvited Super Bowl party guest Bartholomew Youngblood just wants everyone to know that the word “football” means something entirely different to…
LOS ANGELES — The winner of the “Best Alternative Music Album” at the 62nd Annual Grammy Awards was allegedly produced by acclaimed independent entertainment company…
It’s time to set the record straight. Back in the early 90s, Dave Coulier was an unrelenting whore and everyone in Canada was going down…
As one of the few people in this world that genuinely listens to lyrics and pays attention to song titles, allow me to blow your…
Us rich and hot people receive so much love on a daily basis that we often forget practicing self-love is just as important, if not…
BERKELEY, Calif. — A small town in the East Bay region of California is still completely devastated and covered in excrement more than 25 years…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Behavioral scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced a breakthrough discovery of a theoretical fourth option for occupying a person’s hands…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local man Greg Kaiters enjoyed reading a nice chapter from a book at the Bridgetown Rose Saloon last Friday night after spending…
Shoegaze pioneers My Bloody Valentine changed music forever with their genre-defining album “Loveless.” As it turns out, their name bears a striking resemblance to a…
GALVESTON, Texas — Polyamorous man Bryce Tarryton asked his recently engaged friends last week if he could trade in his plus-one wedding invitation for a…
MEDFORD, N.Y. — Mathcore band A Murder Among Friends observed the biannual Daylight Saving Time rule today by reluctantly setting the time signatures back on…
HOUSTON — The world’s first factory-farm-to-table restaurant Le Cochon Souffrant opened to largely negative reviews this week, as patrons were horrified by the incessant squeals…
Many people will tell you that the US version of the Office GIFs are better than their UK predecessors. Those people are simply wrong. Maybe…
NEW YORK —The Misfits updated their show rider yesterday, demanding the marshmallows in their Count Chocula cereal be separated from the rest of the food…