DEMING, N.M. — Local insurance salesman Ben Romero was written up today for missing work for the second day in a row with no phone…
EUGENE, Ore. — Perpetually inconsiderate roommate Michael Chabot was thrilled yesterday to discover a giant pile of garbage in his shared kitchen, knowing he finally…
BURBANK, Calif. — Every single member of the audience at the premiere screening of Joker at the AMC 16 last night was reportedly “poised and…
LANCASTER, Pa. — Lt. Dale Sherman was reportedly “completely bummed” to be on surveillance detail last weekend at the annual DIY, folk-punk Crust Fest, bemused…
Americans spend $10.7 trillion dollars every year, and most of that is spent on sex probably. One visionary is looking to change that. There’s a…
One unfortunate part of being a fan of older music is that some of it has aged rather poorly. Certain songs that were totally acceptable…
Great news for everyone here at our anarchist co-op! Folk punk legend and singer of “Scuzzy Steve and the Trash Panda Express,” Steve Termini, has…
We live in a progressive time. The days of mediocre white men dominating the media are coming to an end. As a straight white male…
PHILADELPHIA — Heavily tattooed barber Rob Moreno was reportedly “stoked” Saturday morning to give everyone the same style undercut at Brush & Steel, his trendy…
LANCASTER, Penn. — Manheim Township High School teacher David Siegel is reportedly not sure how to discipline Kyle Jackson, a student, over a series of…
LANCASTER, Pa. — 25-year-old punk Ricky Lewis called a press conference on Friday to admit that he had lost his grasp on popular music well…
EPHRATA, Penn. — 79-year-old grandmother Patti Leinbach was, for the first time ever, completely indifferent about her grandson Pete’s music career, sources at a weekend…
PHILADELPHIA — Guitarist Pete Leinbach reportedly stuck to his pre-planned list of “hit” anecdotes during a first, and likely last, romantic encounter at a bar…
I think it’s more important than ever, in these chaotic times, that we maintain our right as Americans to arm ourselves in self-defense. That’s why…
ROCKVILLE, Md. — After being fired, Bethesda animator Jeff Callahan was seen packing a confusingly extensive assortment of useless objects into a bankers box as…