Hey, Alexa? I’ve been hearing a lot of talk about how this Coronavirus vaccine is actually a tracking device created by the government to keep…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local Guitar Center manager Marcella Doyle was taken aback earlier this week when alternative rock band Everclear began signing autographs and selling…
WASHINGTON — Only a few hours after being banned on Facebook, President Donald Trump erupted in anger when he realized that he was no longer…
We have had fun tonight with our festivities and frivolities and, while your proposition to keep this night going is tempting, I believe now is…
WHEATON, Ill. — Local and state authorities are in a desperate search for a local father who jokingly put socks in an empty PlayStation 5…
Everyone says how long 2020 has felt, but it seems to have gone by in a flash when it comes to listening to new music.…
There are approximately 135 screen versions of Charles Dickens’ apocryphal tale of ego reversal “A Christmas Carol” from Scrooge McDuck, to Tim Curry, to George…
Hey bro, what’s goin’ on? I can’t believe we graduated high school fifteen years ago, seems like yesterday we were in Biology class. Do you…
HINSDALE, Ill. — Twitter user Shannon Nichols updated her profile bio today, moving “Trump Supporter” ahead of her other chosen descriptors of “Christian, Mother, Entrepreneur,…
CORUSCANT — The reigning Galactic Empire is selling old laser cannons, starfighters, and other weapons and vehicles to small-town police departments on Earth for pennies…
JERICHO, N.Y. — Recent college graduate and virtual intern at JPMorgan Chase Danny Galiardi has no idea what to do with a latte in which…
ASHEBORO, N.C. — Local punk Dean Brown set his morals and political ideologies aside again yesterday in order to shop at the Garrett Army &…
DETROIT — Aging rocker Perry Dunn, frontman for the seminal hair metal band Töpsy Türvy, left his rented room at the luxurious Shinola Hotel pristine…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Dominique Martin was pleased to discover today that her total credit score was nine, believing this to be a good score…
JASPER, Ark. — Local militia member Lance Hagan accidentally ate the three years’ worth of emergency rations while anxiously watching the election results, according to…