EL PASO, Texas — The legal team at Williams & Ruprecht was stunned today when a seemingly normal stack of divorce papers devolved into outright…
HOMER, Ala. — The emotional affair between English teacher Lara Palledorous and her co-worker Allessandro Reyes resulted in a sweaty, purely physical and entirely literal…
WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — Local woman Eloise Mandeel called Guitar Center this morning in hopes that an employee would tell her the whereabouts of her…
WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Punk bassist Becca Roberts defended her decision today to use a plectrum for the clitoral stimulation of her girlfriend, despite pressure…
You’re probably wondering why I’m fishing out on the floor foaming at the mouth and ranting in tongues. I assure you, everything is fine. Today…
INDIANAPOLIS — Recent college graduate Mark Robinson had a job interview yesterday he thought “went pretty well,” despite his inability to determine whether or not…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Following years of research and development, the average vegan ass is approaching a similar taste and texture to that of carnivores’ due…
MUNCIE, Ind. — Linda Schulte, mother for 34 years and recent smartphone owner, announced in a Facebook post today that “Too Much Sudoku,” a free-to-play…
LOS ANGELES — Film Studies student Aidan Peterson rescued a night of intimacy using a decades-old video game cheat code, report sources on the other…
HOBOKEN, N.J. — PC gamer Grayson Cotter believes an issue with the keycaps of a top-of-the-line mechanical gaming keyboard he has posted to online marketplaces…
FAIRFAX, Va. — Earlier this week, the National Rifle Association (NRA) filed a lawsuit against PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds creator Bluehole Studios for limiting the number of…
REDMOND, Wash. — In a Nintendo Direct presentation today, Nintendo of America COO Reggie Fils-Aime revealed Nintendo’s upcoming plans to fully develop, promote, and cancel three…
KENOSHA, Wis. — Kelsey Soto and Daniel Port will not be reuniting for Riot Fest 2017, despite the rumors swirling throughout the Kenosha hardcore community,…
PHILADELPHIA — Local coreman Alex Gonzalez was struck down by a hail of fists in a brutal crowdkilling incident at last night’s Strangulation show, according…
ASTORIA, N.Y. — A middle-aged man having a midlife crisis drove a Harley Davidson into a mosh pit on Friday evening, according to police reports.…