Glassjaw, the legendary and often imitated New York post-hardcore band, has announced a 20+ year anniversary collection including seminal records 2000’s “Everything You Ever Wanted…
So, you decided to dabble with some ketamine. I really can’t blame you. Sorry horses, Ket isn’t just for you anymore! Some of my dealers…
BOISE, Idaho — A days-long investigation into the 2020 Wrapped list of local man Evan Burghart was revealed to be heavily edited in order to…
NORFOLK, Va. — An extremely organized right wing terrorist group known as the “Norfolk Police Department” held an annual fundraising event yesterday to procure more…
WASHINGTON — Over two dozen White House staff members with clandestine ties to the Kremlin and operating within President Trump’s trusted inner circle admitted today…
WASHINGTON — The White House claimed President Trump’s recent move to a local morgue at the insistence of his doctors was “simply a precautionary measure”…
PROVO, Utah — Devout Christian and former Underøath superfan Liam Beckstead spent the majority of his afternoon yesterday Tweeting death threats at the band while…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Members of longstanding nü-metal band Slipknot are facing intense criticism today for refusing to donate their signature masks to medical personnel…
OSLO, Norway — The brand new, all-black metal streaming platform “Corpsify +” is responsible for the brutal deaths of eight Norwegian black metal fans, despite…
CONCORD, N.H. — Andrew Yang announced he will be dropping out of the presidential race tonight, but promised to deliver a heaping helping of “go…
LOS ANGELES – Molly Connolly, the subject of mid-00s emo band Say Anything’s fan favorite song “Every Man Has a Molly,” revealed in a press…
WASHINGTON — Robert Mueller frustrated fans and detractors alike by playing the exact same set during an encore performance in front of the House Judiciary…
SANTA FE SPRINGS, Calif. — Hundreds of concertgoers came forward this week, accusing the famed Warped Tour festival of enticing them to a litter-strewn field…
LODI, N.J. — A highly anticipated Christmas album from punk legends The Misfits consists primarily of songs about Halloween, multiple confused listeners confirmed. The album,…
PLYMOUTH, Mass. — Local parent Marsha Douglas still isn’t sure exactly what foods family friend and vegan Carolyn Hansen will eat, sources confirmed earlier today.…