It is with a heavy heart that I must announce that I was forced to close my beloved indie movie theater. I’ve done all I…
After watching “Midsommar” for the first time, I told my friends “Man, thank christ Scandinavians aren’t real. That would be terrifying.” He then said to…
Uh-oh! Part-time U2 frontman and full-time mischievous goblin-creature Bono has kidnapped my firstborn son! The only way to get him back is to guess Bono’s…
CHICAGO — Local punk Kyla Waters has spent the past 24 hours trying to decide if her roommate’s new tattoo either looks nothing like Jack…
With many fans online calling it an outright betrayal, the Spider-Man community was up in arms earlier today after discovering that the Republic of Bulgaria…
LOS ANGELES — Following the success of “The Big Bang Theory” and its spinoff series “Young Sheldon,” CBS announced today that another spinoff entitled “Dead…
I don’t like to brag, but I don’t think it’s too far off for me to say that I’m a better guitarist than about 99.99%…
Here’s a Made up Story About the Recording of Pearl Jam’s ‘Ten’ Because the Real One Is Super Boring
Here’s a Made up Story About the Recording of Pearl Jam’s ‘Ten’ Because the Real One Is Super Boring
So we’re about halfway through the second paragraph of the Wikipedia for ‘Ten’ and the only thing we’ve learned so far is that Pearl Jam…
Can you guys hear me ok? What’s that? I can see your faces but can’t hear anything. Can you guys hear me? Tim’s nodding so…
LOS ANGELES — Film director Alex Cox came to the sudden and tragic realization this morning that his 1986 biopic “Sid and Nancy” was just…
LOS ANGELES — The last remaining Tudor split-level house known to mankind was burned to the ground yesterday during the filming of an emotional episode…
CHICAGO — Local goth Raven Stevens spent her entire savings on new clothes yesterday after an attempt to eat a powdered donut backfired catastrophically, a…
It’s hard to envision how society will look in a post coronavirus world. Maybe everything will be fine, or maybe this disease will wipe us…
CHICAGO — A panel of experts practicing social distancing across the country are reeling today, following the discovery that it is somehow already 4:05 p.m.…
As we wait patiently for president dementia tits to take a break from eating taco bowls while wiping his ass with girl scouts and weigh…