There’s been a lot of talk about police abolition this year and while there have been a lot of well-articulated cases for it, I’m still…
2020 has been a shit show. Not here to argue that. However, it was pretty fucking cool when the government gave us that $1,200 stimulus…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local Black police officer Dante Jackson was rendered unrecognizable to his coworkers within seconds of removing his uniform in the precinct locker…
Cops suck. There’s no question about that. I’m not a dumbass boot licker. However, I don’t know if we should be calling for the police…
PHILADELPHIA — Local vegan Courtney Demming was pepper-sprayed by Philadelphia police during a peaceful protest yesterday, but declined the offer of a “milk wash” to…
LORTON, Va. — Local man Devin Caulfield is now in his 11th year of attempting to explain his Screeching Weasel tattoo despite never having been…
Thirty years ago I married the most beautiful woman in the world. I know everybody says that about their wife but mine is the real…
LOS ANGELES — Unpopular streaming platform Quibi was visited yesterday by the ghost of NBC’s now-defunct streaming platform SeeSo, warning the young app of it’s…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Career landlord and general piece of shit Tyler Simpson was devastated to learn today that he’s also losing his tenants’ unemployment benefits,…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local cop and racist bully Dennis Peters, who once brought a gun to Roosevelt High School in 10th grade, is now employed…
LOS ANGELES — The 1981 kidnapping of a young woman by the KKK is being reexamined by the LAPD following overwhelming public pressure, multiple detectives…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — Local man Nate Mullins, a self-described “punker” and the world’s youngest Pennywise fan, turned 40 years old earlier this week, sources…
DALLAS — White liberal and exhausted local ally, Sonya Neptin, is wondering how many tweets they have to write before racism is finally cancelled, sources…
Last night the people of Minneapolis rose up and set fire to a police precinct in response to the murder of George Floyd. Many are…
NEWPORT, Ky. — Notable stoner and “flat earth” conspiracy theorist John Hays has been playing the same Sleep album continuously since last year’s 4/20 celebration,…