WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — A 20-year-old threat made by Blink-182 frontman Mark Hoppus about fucking your mom is suddenly more realistic than ever following your parents’…
DURHAM, N.C. — James Polk High School maintenance workers found yesterday an extensive collection of vintage hacky sacks, some accidentally kicked onto the roof over…
KINGSTON, Mass. — A hardcore matinee show scheduled for this afternoon is reportedly indefinitely delayed until promoters can adequately stock the cash box to make…
SEATTLE — Members of local hardcore band Within My Grasp discovered today that a benefit show they agreed to play was actually a fundraiser to…
QUINCY, Mass. — A pair of teenagers crossing the parking lot of an abandoned strip mall moments ago report that there is definitely someone fucking…
LOS ANGELES — The first openly punk Bachelorette Kelly Sears stirred up controversy on the long-running reality show last night by immediately eliminating any contestant…
WASHINGTON — The entirety of the straight edge subculture is waiting patiently as a collection of hardcore elders draft their official stance on the non-psychoactive…
LAS VEGAS — Descendents frontman and Ph.D. molecular biologist Milo Aukerman can pay off his remaining student loan debt after reportedly hitting a $42,000 jackpot…
WASHINGTON — Special Counsel Robert Mueller released the full version of his first “Choose Your Own Conclusions” investigative report regarding the Trump campaign and Russian…
LOS ANGELES — Singer Kelly Rowland surprised fans across the globe by dropping a surprise Nutrisystem infomercial on deep cable late last night, ecstatic sources…
LAS VEGAS — The legendary punk band Rancid postponed their Punk Rock Bowling headlining set at the last minute after singer and occasional guitarist Tim…
LOS ANGELES — Local punk Noah Slafer scoured the internet last night to find out whether he should view Julian Assange as a right-wing puppet…
INDIO, Calif. — Democrats are investigating White House Senior Adviser Jared Kushner for receiving an all-access, VIP pass to Coachella that will grant him access…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local five-piece outfit Brain Pollution have completed their successful transition from forgettable hardcore act into atrocious metal band, disappointing unsuspecting fans throughout…
PASADENA, Calif. — Local parent Kevin Westfall told his son Danny last week that Danny “had a great set,” despite only being present for the…