BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Self-proclaimed gender equality ally Sean Donaghy successfully hid his expansive collection of Family Guy and Tosh.0 DVDs deep inside his closet last…
BASKING RIDGE, N.J. – Verizon Wireless announced their latest push to market to the underground music scene with a “Hardcore Family” phone plan today, catering…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Complete moron and supposed Bad Religion superfan Rob Hooper clapped before the band even finished the song “I Want Something More,” ruining…
Ian MacKaye said long ago that straight edge is not a set of rules. So there, it’s settled, He has spoken: Straight edge isn’t a…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Local normie girlfriend Amanda James unveiled a bizarre, somewhat punk-themed arts and crafts disaster of a birthday present today, confirmed sources…
There is a popular misconception in the music world that drummers are always the first to lose interest in a band’s musical direction. Maybe it’s…
ATLANTA, Ga. – Candace Singleton, the lead vocalist of local hardcore band Charmers Almanac, has been fighting back against an internet troll that has harassed…
BRYN MAWR, Pa. — Doctors report hardline straight edge kid Cody “Tonks” Tonkinson awoke briefly following his sixth day in a coma to remove the…
WASHINGTON — With Hillary Clinton’s steady rise in the 2016 Presidential election polls, former President Bill Clinton is optimistic he and his ska band, Slightly…
BROOKLYN — The new, fresh-faced barista with the prominent G-clef on his forearm at the Pure Grind Coffee Roaster in Bushwick allegedly “must be some…
BURLINGTON, Vt. – In hopes of renewing interest in extracurricular arts programs, Northwest High School has announced that its 34th annual Battle of the Bands…
MINNEAPOLIS – Local man Dylan Olsen was brutally stabbed to death outside of punk venue The Sink Hole when it was revealed he had brought…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Polyamorous man Rick Walcott is reportedly enlightened and open-minded enough “to love multiple people” but instead chooses to love only himself, according…
RENO, Nev. — While hardcore fans around the world know Gary Ridgefield as the outspoken frontman of legendary band Not Going Down — a man…
WACO, Texas — Convicted murderer James Wellington’s bone-chilling confession surrounding the dismemberment of four hitchhikers in 2013 was clearly designed to attract the attention of grindcore bands…