OAKLAND, Calif. — Local singer-songwriter Vince Valdez is less than a dozen woke Tweets away from eclipsing the massive amount of sexual assault allegations he…
PALM BEACH, Fla. — Conservative talking heads across the country mourned the loss of Rush Limbaugh by reducing how many times they mentioned false flag…
ANTIOCH, Calif. — Local punk Dom Medico realized yesterday that his so-called “glory days” that are now far in his rearview mirror were mostly boring…
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — A proposed presidential library for disgraced former President Trump is expected to feature the world’s largest vintage VHS pornography collection, organizers…
DALY CITY, Calif. — Local man Kevin Aguilar is completely unaware that his seemingly happy, long-term relationship will come to a swift and decisive end…
BILLERICA, Mass. — Local Brick Fist Boys crew member Sean Webster stood with his arms crossed in a recent photo for fear that he wouldn’t…
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Local neo-fascist Greg Pough retired as an active member of the Proud Boys today following a three-second embrace with his father that…
WASHINGTON — A sea of Trump supporters with the goal of stopping Joe Biden’s inauguration created chaos by building a fully functional police station just…
GEORGETOWN, Del. — Local man Ben Hartsock resumed his normal business of yelling at skateboarders for trespassing in a parking lot less than 24 hours…
WASHINGTON — DC-based tour guide Christopher Hollis is currently attempting to quell an insurrection at the Capitol Building in order to provide interesting details about…
BOSTON — Local straight edge couple Alana Enders and Chris Lewis responsibly celebrated New Year’s Eve alone at home for the eighth consecutive year, sources…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary punk frontman Glenn Anzalone, better known by stage name Glenn Danzig, was arrested and held without bail in connection with the…
ROANOKE, Va. — Local mother Jodi Forenza fulfilled her 26-year-old son Tony’s Christmas wish by purchasing him a three-pack of soiled underwear from his favorite…
WEYMOUTH, Mass. — The guest list of an annual Friendsgiving celebration, truncated this year due to COVID-19 mandates, has shown excluded members their exact status…
ABINGTON, Mass. — A local man’s chances of talking to his parents in a civil manner once again is too early to call as a…