Los Angeles — The social media manager for Spiked Recordz, Tyler Barnes (@TyTyBinks), reportedly urged aging rocker Jimmy “Driveshaft” Davids to consider a bold new…
GENEVA – A team of scientists at CERN’s Large Hadron Collider are still cleaning up the mess today after experimenting with a massive circle pit…
SAN FRANCISCO – Sobering news out of the punk world this week, as NOFX frontman Fat Mike announced he has suffered acute fake liver failure after…
CHIPPEWA FALLS, Wis. – A team of high-powered attorneys representing the interests of seminal metal act Metallica filed the necessary paperwork late last week to…
Astoria, NY – Tragedy struck late yesterday morning when local musician Alex Maury died after an apparent fall from his extremely high horse. “We all…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A string of increasingly desperate texts sent to an underage fan have revealed the softer side of Kevin “Stubbs” O’Malley, the feared frontman…
HEAVEN – Following the untimely death of David Bowie, God, the almighty, all-knowing deity and Creator of Heaven and Earth, has announced the final lineup…
NEW YORK CITY — Local stage potato “Big” Greg Hauff began to sprout last night during touring act HEADWALK’s headlining set, according to several witnesses in…
HANSON, Mass. — Local man Aaron Noble is entered into his tenth year of searching for the perfect surface to apply a sticker of beloved Boston…
TEMPE, Arizona — Your normie, non-punk girlfriend, who you’ve been with since early high school, is thrilled that you invited 15 of your friends from…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. – Local straight edge couple Garret Curley and Kristina Rettig made a valiant effort to stay up until midnight to watch the ball…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Local ukulele owner and polyamorous man Rick Walcott graciously explained the core concepts of feminism to a group of female undergraduate students Saturday night during…
OAKLAND, Calif. — One lucky, horrified fan of the hardcore band STEEM was forced against his will to crowd surf last night as audience members hoisted…
You’ve told them countless times. You weren’t rude about it, but you definitely told them. Still, that one weird aunt — or your friend’s new…
BREAKING: Early reports indicate your Malaysian Facebook friend wants your defunct high-school band, Pig Abortions, to “come tour [Malaysia] already.” The friend, who added you three…