AUSTIN, Texas – In a blatant display of entitlement, touring band Cheap Shot reportedly demanded legal, minted U.S. dollars — in virtually any form — in exchange for not…
JAMAICA PLAIN, Mass. – Silver-tongued punk Victor Gross resorted to complimenting a band he genuinely hated in hopes it would help his chances in procuring the…
WASHINGTON – Members of Congress were called to a special session this week to tighten regulations on what can be considered “New York Hardcore” following the…
BROCKTON, Mass. – With Boxed Out’s merch table set up and drink tickets secured, band manager Charlie Austin is reportedly “not entirely sure” what he should do for the next three…
DIXIE, Ga. – After a long, hard battle with their host’s shower, touring band The Hammer and Nail have reportedly broken the shower’s handle and…
DIXIE, Ga. – After several hours of futile attempts, not a single member of hardcore band The Hammer and Nail has figured out how to operate the tub-shower unit in their host’s…
DETROIT – Presidential candidate and GOP frontrunner Dr. Ben Carson, who has made headlines with his contentious views on issues such as abortion and climate…
NEW YORK — 36-year-old self-proclaimed hardcore kid Kamal Ahmed was tried as an adult in New York Superior Court early this morning, court officials confirmed. “As…
NASHVILLE – Following a sparsely attended Halloween show, members of every band on the bill were horrified to discover the promoter — and all the…
RICHMOND, Virg. — Citing it as a safer way to huff, many punks have turned to vaping their daily glue through digital devices. Glue vaporizers, also…
High Court Of Punk Opinion –– An investigation into the notes kept by James Berge, blogger and bearded man, has brought to light the horrifying…
MODESTO, Calif. — “Ah man, my head is fucking killing me,” Whirr guitarist Nick Bassett said while running his hand through a queen-sized comforter in…
ST. PAUL, Minn – Armed with a comprehensive knowledge of all punk and hardcore bands within a 50-mile radius, local musician and amateur historian, Kyle…
NEW YORK – Making its first foray into music-based content, media company Condé Nast announced they acquired millions of angry readers along with the purchase of…
Man Who Thought of It First Could Also Reportedly Do It Better
BROOKLYN, NY — Standing in the back of the room with his arms crossed, local man Adam Franklin announced to everyone within earshot that not…