Like all living things, crust punks can be classified into many different subspecies. Here are some of the most common crusties found in nature. Illustrations…
We asked six esteemed sea captains to talk to us about their first encounters with crust punks. WARNING: these stories are not for those who are…
AUSTIN, Texas – Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin have made a startling discovery. Though controversial, anthropologists have determined that crust punks may…
DENVER – Unemployed internet commenter, Shane Clifford, 33, feels that despite the fact he has no money, access to venues, or contacts in the music…
PHOENIX, Ariz. – Joel Simmons, 24, is certain the only way to turn his lackluster love life around is to grab the attention of women…
HELL – Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness and Ruler of All Things Evil, is reportedly unimpressed with what he called, “the lackluster state of current…
PORTLAND, Ore. – Stink Bandits, a heavily hyped local trash core band, were outed as nothing more than three raccoons and a drum machine after their…
SARASOTA, Fla. – Office worker and self-described punk, Brian Nesom, had a sudden and overwhelming sense of dread while leaving work Friday evening. Right as…
VIRGINIA BEACH, Virg. – Wedding season is in full swing, which means one thing: The nation’s punks are struggling with their wardrobe choices. But one…
SPOKANE, Wash. – After resigning from her post as president of the Spokane, Washington chapter of the N.A.A.C.P due to a highly publicized scandal regarding…
ORLEANS, Mass. – Ticket holder Nick Cascarella made a desperate attempt to appear to be busy on his phone upon arriving to a show hours…
WASHINGTON – The nearly-decade-long personal conflict between local straight edge bands Heads Up and Think Clear was finally resolved this week when leader singers Chris…
CAMDEN, N.J. – Tempers flared at a show over the weekend when showgoer Steven Montague was forbidden from stashing his sweatshirt safely underneath the merch…
DOVER, Del. – Skinhead presidential candidate Randy Thurber put a spoke in the wheels of a live, televised presidential debate last night with his constant…
LOS ANGELES – Residents of Los Angeles’ Silver Lake neighborhood were excited by a punk rock themed food truck’s decision to frequent the area. But despite…