NASHVILLE — Local woman and occasional defecator Ingrid Fowler was shocked and alarmed to discover her boyfriend’s bathroom had just a few flimsy strands of…
First of all, stop being such a pussy, dude. It’s just a handgun. And a glock at that! No one ever is killed by just…
Everybody just be cool, okay?! The doors are locked and chained from the outside, and nobody is leaving this blackbox venue until you all get…
MOORESTOWN, N.J. — Local dad Henry Connor insisted he will not be comfortable hugging his 27-year-old son Griffin until they’re both vaccinated against COVID-19, or…
The Thin White Duke. Aladdin Sane. Ziggy Stardust. None of these nicknames describes Ted Nugent, a man primarily known for his chest-thumping patriotism, as well…
Awww yeah. You already know what the fuck is going on here. Me and my lady are off to see a show tonight. It’s been…
BALLARD RESIDENCE — A disturbing and highly scientific new study has found that I, Gary Ballard, the extremely parched breadwinner that works too damn hard…
“The Wire” is considered the greatest show of all time, besides all those other shows that are also considered the greatest of all time. Despite…
First of all, I just want to say to all my friends and family, thank you for your concern. I really appreciate it but I’m…
BOSTON — An allegedly cash-poor Dropkick Murphys irked fans by announcing that Arbor Day has always been one of “their things” in what was “definitely…
DELRAY BEACH, Fla. — Stoned-out-of-his-gourd movie director and podcaster Kevin Smith is still answering the first question of a Q and A nearly four hours…
Beyond Helter Skelter: 5 Other Beatles Songs Charles Manson Thought Were About an Impending Race War
Beyond Helter Skelter: 5 Other Beatles Songs Charles Manson Thought Were About an Impending Race War
All-around scalawag and well-known forehead swastika enthusiast Charles Manson was famous for many things. But he’s perhaps best known for his belief that the proto-metal…
ANTHEMOESSA — Shipwrecks across the world dropped after mythological Sirens that normally lure sailors to certain death with their beautiful songs, suddenly began singing Nu-Metal…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Roommates Manny Hernandez and Rob McCarty spent their first weekend together laying the ground rules for their new home, flipping a coin…
Here at The Hard Times, we get a lot of questions from our readers asking for advice. While we’re happy to oblige, there are some…