Quick, need some mommy advice ASAP. About once a week, usually after getting my eight-month-old son to sleep, there’s a bright crackle of lightning in…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Amateur GG Allin impersonator, and introverted man that has no business being on any stage, Logan Ethridge insisted he was unable…
LAS VEGAS — Local punk Andrew “RatFink” Haseley was recently offered a cool $300 by the hit History Channel show “Pawn Stars” under the condition…
I hope you assholes are happy. Recently, The Hard Times asked our readers, who we honestly thought were more mature than this, to vote on…
Before we start eating, I’d just like to say what we’re all thinking. This is our first Christmas without Uncle Randy. Obviously, we all dearly…
SALT LAKE CITY — Local 33-year-old Tom Marshman was sorely dissapointed today to learn he is actually “37 fucking years old” after glancing at his…
My step-dad was always a hard ass. He’d embarrass me in front of my friends, emasculate me in front of my partners, and kept me…
NORMAN, Okla. — A surprising new study found that it’s way easier to just change your password every time you login instead of trying to…
IRVINE, Calif. — Virtually every single punk attending the Bucket of Dog Shit record release show today is terrified everyone else will find out about…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local indie band C4 and a Chocolate Bar severely overestimated their show attendance and audience’s wants last night by offering free EPs to…
Celebrities – they’re just like us in that they’re kind of assholes. Recently, we got the opportunity to interview acclaimed singer-songwriter Rilo Kiley and, not…
PHILADELPHIA — Local man Eric Sullivan still eats with his arm around his plate like a hardened, PTSD-suffering prisoner after growing up as the youngest…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Millennial punk and generally clumsy dolt Tony Drummond bellowed several ironic “Tim Allen” grunts yesterday before accidentally firing a nail through his…
HOLLYWOOD — CBS sitcom “Bright Spot” used a punk cover of the holiday classic “Santa Baby” recorded by The Erectroplasms for this year’s Christmas episode…
TRENTON, N.J. — New mailroom employee Cole Horrigan surprised his coworkers at Tremont Auto Insurance Thursday night when he wrapped the karaoke mic cord around…