NAMPA, Idaho — A punk house dispute over fixing a carbon monoxide detector was abruptly resolved after every single resident passed out at once, lightheaded…
LONDON — Cartoon bassist for the virtual indie rock group Gorillaz, Murdoc Niccals, died of a cartoon heroin overdose Wednesday, a cartoon doctor wearing a…
ARVADA, Colo. — Local guy Nathan Thorpe is having an “absolute fucking banner” year, thanks to his penchant for explaining the details of fast-paced current…
CALABASAS, Calif. — An emotional Kanye West stood outside soon-to-be-ex-wife Kim Kardashian’s bedroom window last night while holding a boombox playing his own music in…
In these unchill times, bros worldwide have been leaning on their dudes extra hard to make sense of shit. Between mask mandates, flavored Juul pod…
A spectar is haunting our political discourse — the spectar of spelling elietism. When I comennced with my college education six years ago, I had…
CHICAGO — Local straight edge man Rodney Palmer woke up mortified this morning after realizing he’d broken edge while blackout drunk the night before, sources…
SAN DIEGO — Local classical guitar virtuoso and all-around good dude Sheldon Michelson’s musical talent and congenial manner is consistently overshadowed by the abnormally long…
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Cabs, heads, and amplifiers of all kinds outnumbered attendees for a weeknight doom metal show last night at local bar Jimmy’s…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Local ex-boyfriend Clyde Satler caught his luckiest break since his separation from his former girlfriend yesterday, realizing that the death of her…
DENVER — Members of local hardcore crew Mile High Wolfpack adopted a stretch of highway last month, which has since fallen into complete and utter…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Drummer Amir Ferguson last night left yet another piece of his drum gear in a city in which he’d just performed, cementing…
COLUMBUS — Local man Louis Contreras enthusiastically noted Monday morning that a man wearing a Turnstile T-shirt was in the background of a breaking news…
SOUTH BEND, Ind. — An exhaustive interrogation after a show at the Cherry Pit last Saturday night revealed that “that squirrely kid” who asked to…
TORONTO — Yoga enthusiast Melissa Christie discovered last night that her yoga mat had been used, presumably by one of her three roommates and their…