WASHINGTON — Newly-inaugurated President Joe Biden is extremely concerned that “The Netflix” won’t know to send his rental DVDs to his new address at the…
RALEIGH, N.C. — Uncle Sal’s Pizzeria unveiled a new “Florida-style” pizza yesterday after an employee accidentally spilled a lukewarm Bud Light on a BBQ chicken…
KINGS PARK, N.Y. — 41-year-old Pantera megafan Ray “Nickelbag” Shipley is still enrolled in 11th grade at Kings Park High School, as well as nightly…
We Revisited “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water” Because We’re in an Uber in Florida
We Revisited “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water” Because We’re in an Uber in Florida
Some albums are so transcendent and groundbreaking that they cannot be appreciated until decades after their release. Is Limp Bizkit’s “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Dave Landers received the COVID-19 vaccine on Thursday and is now looking forward to never, ever washing his hands again, according…
Stay home, everybody! Please limit this year’s Thanksgiving celebration to include only the people you live with. Larger gatherings could have potentially fatal consequences, especially…
Misinformation is running rampant in our streets and in our newsfeeds! We are being manipulated and outside influence is taking hold of our personal decisions…
WASHINGTON — A panicked President Trump is debating whether releasing his infamous “pee tape” would help or hurt his chances in the upcoming election, confirmed…
What up ‘90s kids! Remember waking up early on Saturday morning to watch cartoons while plowing through an entire box of Cookie Crisp? Do you?…
Dinner was supposed to be served 45 minutes ago and I haven’t even pre-heated the oven yet. But who cares about eating? This lasagna recipe…
LONDON — Researchers at the London Institute of Hard Rock released new scientific findings today that suggest some British proto-metal bands were capable of starting…
BETHESDA, Md. — Uber Eats is critically overburdened by President Trump’s quarantine and is begging for FEMA assistance after just a few days, according to…
EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. — Everyone attending last night’s Twenty One Pilots drive-in concert at Metlife Stadium kept their seatbelt on throughout the entire show, confirmed…
We recently sat down with renowned intellectual Noam Chomsky for an illuminating discussion on political systems, linguistics, and the state of the world. Unfortunately, the…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Metal band Beneath the Bottomless Pit added blond-haired guitarist Kevin Slater to their line-up yesterday, fulfilling a diversity initiative mandated by their…