Helmet, body armor, shield, baton: All elements of a police officer’s tactical uniform designed to intimidate and strike fear into the heart of anything standing…
DALLAS — Local small aircraft pilot Skippy Barnes is supplementing his skywriting income with a clandestine, government-backed chemical-spraying side gig, high-level sources demanding anonymity confirmed.…
When “The Oprah Winfrey Show” debuted in 1986, it gave women their own little corner of the television landscape where they could feel seen. An…
If you’re like me, the Super Bowl is the only football game you’ll watch all year. Maybe a coworker invited you to a viewing party…
Looking out at the marina, my only thought between swigs of Pepto Bismol and Jim Beam cocktails is “what the hell happened?” Just this morning…
TACOMA, Wash. — Members of indie trio Shades of Hemingway surprised “superfan” and sole Patreon subscriber Artie Ravil yesterday by finally delivering the customized song…
Nice little shop you got here. I like the basic, minimalist approach- you probably keep all the good stuff for yourself, huh? Hey, relax, I’m…
Oh no! Did my words offend you? Pweease don’t kwyy, I sowwy— just to be clear, that was a baby voice, not a problematic accent,…
CARY, N.C. — Local co-op worker Alan Swanson is fed up with assumptions that he’s somehow in charge of coworkers at least 12 years his…
CINCINNATI — Local resident Ricardo Korm reportedly asked several passersby for money yesterday to buy Patreon-exclusive content from his favorite podcasts, according to sources outside…
ODESSA, Texas — Touring hardcore band Mormon Conversion Unit was criticized last night for failing to observe the established etiquette of wiping down the equipment…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local music fan Don Glenswig was elated last night to discover a long line for the bathroom in which to waste time…
NEW YORK — Self-described anti-fascist black metal band Ornamental Sun admitted that, although the group’s lyrics often detail horrifically violent scenes of dismemberment and torture…
I love to travel. Travel is the first interest listed on all my dating apps, right above Cards Against Humanity, and “adventures,” which is basically…
TULSA, Okla. — Christian rapper Young Xannah admitted today that the only beef he refuses to “squash” is his ongoing conflict with the act of…