FLAVORTOWN, Calif. — A quality-of-life ordinance passed by Flavortown’s town council this week will guarantee residents monthly universal chili con carne payments beginning as soon…
Holy shit am I the next Kirk Hammett? No, I can’t shred on the guitar and my hair is less “rock God” and more “birds…
MISHAWAKA, Ind. — Local punk musician Dana Laurence gave the “birds and the bees” talk to his seven-year-old son last night, reportedly including overly detailed…
CHICAGO — Levi Tanaka, bassist and lead vocalist of technical death metal band Rodeus, issued an apology today via Facebook Live for “Decimate the Weak…
Your Honor, take a look at this jury. When I arrived here for my trial, I was told the jury would be a selection of…
INDIANAPOLIS — A local jazz drummer’s rant last night about stereotypical death metal band names, using only morbid phrases and references to physical violence, reportedly…