My step-dad was always a hard ass. He’d embarrass me in front of my friends, emasculate me in front of my partners, and kept me on edge with his steely cold demeanor ever since he married my mom ten years ago. Well, well, well, who’s a big man now laying there on that hospital bed all beeping and shit? Not so tough now, are you?
Wait. He can’t hear me, right?
Okay good. That fucking coward. That weak, pathetic 71-year-old man. I bet it’d be pretty hard to bump into me with your walker now, Rick. You mother-fucking motherfucker.
God, look at you. All frail and pale. Nice work getting put into a medically induced coma from all that black lung. You clearly weren’t thinking about this moment when you were pulling people out of the North Tower, ya dummy. “Ooooh I’m Rick and I’m a first responder and I’m soooo tough.” Well now I’m the big man. Now I’m… The Last Responder. Yeah, that sounds badass.
If there’s anything I’ve learned on my 45 years on this Earth, it’s that who laughs last laughs best. That’s actually most of what I’ve learned. I’m a very bitter person.
As soon as my mom went down to the cafeteria I pulled the plug on ol’ weak-ass Ricky. You should have seen his face after I did it too. His eyes shot open and he breathed on his own for the first time in weeks! I was so angry I grabbed that asshole’s body so hard that I started crying. When we finally pulled away, he looked me in the eyes and said, “I love you, son.” Ha! What a pussy.