WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Undercover journalist Teddy Eckart just needs to spend another two or three years investigating a lascivius and highly erotic sex cult in…
ABINGTON, Mass. — Local birthday girl and outspoken anti-capitalist Beth Crowley received no birthday gifts for the third year in a row, thanks to friends…
NEW YORK — Self-described anti-fascist black metal band Ornamental Sun admitted that, although the group’s lyrics often detail horrifically violent scenes of dismemberment and torture…
OMAHA, Neb. — College student and “good guy” with a gun James Watson was furious today after the latest in his series of romantic rejections,…
AUSTIN, Texas — The Whole Foods Market grocery chain announced today that it will only sell produce picked by cage-free migrant children, in what the…
Kentucky, let’s get real. Senator Mitch McConnell is probably the most evil politician in America today. Yes, Trump is louder and more outwardly hateful but…
Yes, America has modern day concentration camps that hold migrant children in cages of their own filth. But we also understand that a new season…
EL PASO, Texas — An agent with U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement was indignant today after once again being compared to a member of the…
Yes, we understand that we confused Jared Simmons as a member of the Hammerskin Nation, one of the most violent neo-Nazi Skinhead gangs in the…
This is all a bit confusing but hopefully we’ll be able to explain what happened and the Peace Corps will release us and help us…
WASHINGTON — Pop-punk frontmen from around the country marched in the nation’s capital today advocating for the federal minimum age of consent to be lowered…
Every year tens of thousands of immigrants from impoverished, war-torn countries seek asylum in the United States. Here at The Hard Times, our immigrant policy…
LOS ANGELES — Instagram celebrity Mayo the Corgi, also known by the handle @CheckOutMayOverbite, filed a lawsuit yesterday in Los Angeles County against owner Carly…
I divide my life into two segments. The first part was the darkness. I worked as an audiovisual artist taking audio clips of Ram Dass,…
It is a historical fact that Andrew Jackson was a shit-eating bag of limp dicks and prolapsed buttholes. As a punk publication, the Hard Times…