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Local Woman Holds Boyfriend’s Jacket

RICHMOND, Va. – Standing stoically near the merchandise table, local woman Stephanie Grable held her boyfriend’s jacket during a recent Iron Reagan performance.

“Oh, I don’t mind. It’s so cute to see Mike out there having fun,” Grable said, when asked why she so willingly carries this burden.

Grable says she’s proud to be part of a time-honored tradition. A few times a month, non-punk girlfriends everywhere are called upon to hold personal belongings while their partners sing along to the touring band’s set.

Mike Woods, Grable’s boyfriend, said his partners presence at the show is really important to him.

“I’m glad she’s here. She likes more of the pop punk stuff, so this music isn’t really her favorite, but I like having a safe place to keep my stuff,” Woods said. “One time someone stole my sweatshirt when I tried stashing it behind some chairs in the corner; total bummer.”

Related: Ex-Girlfriend Totally Normal Now

And it isn’t just jackets Grable is great at holding. Grable has also been responsible for holding: iPhones, keys, merchandise purchases at the show, wallets, snapback hats and, on rare occasions, Woods’ skateboard.

“She saves me from making a bunch of trips to the car,” Woods said. “Sometimes these things don’t have re-entry.”

As of press time, Grable was seen texting in the corner next to a stack of chairs as Woods and his friends made plans to go to a 24-hour diner after the show.

Article by The Hard Times Staff

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7 Comments

  1. Joe Hardcore December 14, 2014

    YO. I FEEL LIKE YOU POSTED THIS STORY TO MOCK MY FRIEND MIKE HERE. WHAT’S SO BAD ABOUT HAVING HIS GIRLFRIEND HOLD HIS COAT? FROM WHAT SHE SAYS HERE, IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE’S REAL EXCITED TO BE THERE. AND EVEN IF SHE DOESN’T LIKE REAL HARDCORE, AT LEAST SHE’S THERE AND NOT AT SOME GAY POP-PUNK SHOW THAT SHE’D ENJOY. WHOEVER WROTE THIS IS PROBABLY SOME HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUT, LEATHER JACKET WEARING NOBODY. FUCK YOU.

  2. Hoe Jardcore January 16, 2015

    ^ U mad bro?

  3. Erin January 16, 2015

    i don’t see why this is an article… I’m really not trying to be rude but she’s holding a jacket…. I do have to say she is dead ringer for the actress from the twilight movie

    • Spike January 17, 2015

      This is a satire site. Does that help you understand why this is an article?

  4. MILFDUZABODYGOOD January 19, 2015

    HA! It’s satire, you morons. This shit is funny…

  5. john jacobs jingle heimen smasher January 19, 2015

    blah blah blah yakity smackity…….DK rocks and so do hot ladies that hold jackets at shows for there guys……..woman power!

  6. storyofocelot February 15, 2015

    How are people not getting that this is a joke yet?

Comments are closed.