ALBANY, N.Y. – The punk community is reeling after a local mom eviscerated her son’s carefully crafted image as a wild punk frontman with a single, heartfelt Facebook post.
“I’m in shock,” said a friend of Stevie “Skunk” Janikowski, who spoke with The Hard Times under condition of anonymity. “I didn’t even think Skunk, or Stevie I guess, had a mom, much less a whole family that loves and cares about him! I’m sorry I just need some alone time to process this.”
The post in question, which was deleted after a frantic text from Janikowski to his mother, was what many witnesses described as a “perfect storm mom post.” It included a picture tag of Janikowski smiling, wearing a sensible cardigan and a novelty, beaver-shaped party hat at his grandmother’s 85th birthday. It also contained a thoughtfully worded and saccharine-written paragraph signed, “Love, Mommy.”
“I am so proud of you and everything you have accomplished,” said the credibility destroying Facebook post before continuing, “My handsome boy you are the reason smiles were invented.”
The heartwarming post was viewed by many of Janikowski’s outspoken friends. “I used to love all his crazy self-mutilating stage antics and shitty stick n poke tattoos. But now? It just seems irresponsible,” said longtime friend and part-time glass-blowing apprentice, Henry Taylor. “How am I supposed to look him in the eye when we’re smashing forties against the side of parked cop cars, knowing he has the love and support of that wonderful angel of a woman?”
The post also revealed what many believe to be Stevie’s family nickname, “Stevie-Beavey.” It was used throughout the post, amid effusive thanks for Stevie’s thoughtfulness, and praise for his chai cupcake recipe. “Your paper straws were delightful, your loving words to grandma insightful, and we love you for it our creative little Stevie-Beavey!”
When pressed for comment Mrs. Janikowski showed little regret. “If loving my baby boy is wrong, well then lock me right on up,” she said. “He hasn’t been this mad at me since I grounded him for wearing a Cocksparrer shirt when he was 14 — but he’ll get over it.”