NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Local man and dedicated Al’s Automotive supporter Brian Crespi was shocked and devastated to learn that the mechanic he sees regularly…
WASHINGTON — Prominent conservatives nationwide are beginning to inquire if they are still morally obligated to listen to Ariel Pink after the artist was spotted…
CHICAGO — Local man and self-proclaimed foodie Harry Blanks unhinged his jaw like a Burmese Python in order to take a bite of the coveted…
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local punk and avid merch buyer Ben Riley officially crossed the line from human being to sentient merch booth with the…
BALLARD RESIDENCE — A disturbing and highly scientific new study has found that I, Gary Ballard, the extremely parched breadwinner that works too damn hard…
DALLAS — Local white man Darrell Hargrove raised alarm bells yesterday after a traffic incident led experts to believe his mugshot may soon appear on…
FROSTBURG, Md. — Local mom Beverly Hurd, whose son graduated with a creative writing degree more than a decade ago, is repeating her annual routine…
PHOENIX — Anticipating a difficult day for himself and his siblings, local man Lucas Ruddy was reportedly dreading his first Mother’s Day since losing his…
MADISON, Wis. — Local mom Helen Dupree is reportedly torn between feelings of disappointment, dejection and confusion after her son gifted her a Cameo message…
If you grew up in the nineties, the alternative rock radio hits of the day probably bring you back to things like eating Nic Nacs,…
SAN FRANCISCO — After liking, sharing, and commenting on his posts, it looks like your “new friend” from last week’s virtual open mic Chris Hardny…
BEND, Ore. — Alleged “biracial poser” and local punk Liz Watson disappointed white stranger Dana Fields yesterday by inadequately naming three origin stories deemed exotic…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Local house sitter and frequent self gratifier David Baker is currently debating how long into his job he is expected to go…
SCOTCH PLAINS, N.J. — Local software engineer and Faith No More superfan Duane Morsman left his residence this morning wearing a Faith No More t-shirt…
LOS GATOS, Calif. — Netflix announced yesterday that they are ordering a slew of new violent homicides to generate content for a new true crime…