Look kid, I’d help if I could. Everybody knows I’m the most generous person. But unlike others who give away their hard earned money to…
STEUBENVILLE, Ohio — Homeowner Mark Hatfield provided most of a large pizza and a case of beer today in exchange for his friends’ help in…
SAINT PAUL, Minn. — Local man and “Mr. Fucking Big Shot” Dan Paulson was allegedly acting last night “like his shit don’t stink” because he…
WILLIAMSBURG, Va. — New historical evidence suggests that former President Thomas Jefferson acquired a substantial amount of his wealth by cultivating and excessively endorsing CBD…
SOMERVILLE, Mass. — Patrons of the Davis Square landmark Sue’s Diner are still uncertain whether the staff are paid to be jerks, or if that…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — 37-year-old web developer and former Fashioncore devotee Kelvin Robbins once again today chose against donating his white studded belt to Goodwill, due…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s Department of Physics announced today the theoretical discovery of the fifth sequence of the energy/alcohol…
NEW YORK — A joint study released today by researchers at Consumer Reports and The Goth Advocate pinpointed an alarming trend of aging mall goths…
LOS ANGELES — Columbia Pictures announced they have hired Emma Stone to represent the collective voice of the Chinese-American community in response to Saturday Night…
BOCA RATON, Fla. — Local punk Divida “Ratkeys” Pilucci was pleasantly surprised this summer upon returning home and finally connecting with her grandparents over their…
TWIN FALLS, Idaho — Local man Jeff Debow mistook today what was sent as a pee emoji for “making this chick I met on Bumble…
With the Misfits on tour, we here at The Hard Times thought, “What better time to interview one of the most influential bands in punk?”…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Local hardcore kid and devoted scene-supporter Bryce Graves has officially drawn the line at dating women from within his DIY community, despite…
CHICAGO — Comedian and actor Steve Rannazzisi lent condolences to fans of beloved songwriter and visual artist Daniel Johnston, who died late Tuesday night of…
DETROIT — Local punk Leslie Knight is currently trapped in what she thought was going to be a friendly “hello” with a guy whose hug…