NEW YORK — Local man with a small beanie Casey Rosevear announced his engagement today via Facebook to Liz McNamara, a woman wearing overalls, unsurprised…
ROKEBY, Neb. — Residents of a sleepy Nebraska town are living in fear of a teenager who recently transformed into a full-on hypebeast who will…
SEATTLE — A “Buffy the Vampire Slayer Party” group chat has allegedly devolved months after Halloween into an increasingly incomprehensible conversation full of inside jokes,…
LOS ANGELES — Amateur clothing vendor and entrepreneur Brian Wessel is puzzled by his company’s lack of T-shirt sales after using the back side of…
SOUTH BEND, Ind. — Mayor Pete Buttigieg today became the first Democratic Presidential contender to release a decade’s worth of concert ticket stubs, following overwhelming…
LONDON — A serial killer targeting merch guys allegedly murdered another victim at a show last night, continuing a month-long spree that has yet to…
BOSTON — Local straight edger Austin Evans quietly formed an undying, eternal bond at a party last night with Tugger Q. Bingley, the cat cared…
ALAMEDA, Calif. — Local punk venue The Frick House installed depressed tenant Adam Gould on their couch yesterday, with full access to multiple streaming services,…
STANFORD, Calif. — Researchers at Stanford University’s Department of Biochemistry have developed a new drug test that simply checks a user’s Spotify playlists for the…
Dear Scabby: I am a straight woman who’s in love with a gay man — what do I do? -DELUSIONAL ROMANTIC Dear Delusional Romantic: Sexual…
SAN DIEGO — Local man and semi-frequent sex-haver Taylor Durham edited his 95-minute long playlist “Poon Tunez” yesterday while reluctantly accepting the limitations of his…
Let’s face it, we wouldn’t be where we are without the help and guidance of our teachers who give us their all every day–minus the…
BEDFORD, N.Y. — Recently single 31-year-old Alexander Harwood is reportedly longing today for the era in which grief and sorrow was solely expressed through away…
SEATTLE — Online retail behemoth Amazon filed an official complaint yesterday against band merch site Rockabilia in one of the first cases examining eminent internet…
In the faced-paced world of today most folks want to become addicted to something, but just don’t know where to start. Luckily, when you look…