Dear Scabby: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now and he’s wondering why I won’t introduce him to my parents.…
MOORE, Okla. — Local drummer Henry Cortez confirmed last night that he “totally knows” what sex is, and only asked a series of misguided questions…
I don’t drink, smoke, or go on the Internet and look at naked people. But I’ve got one addiction: Christian music. Whether I’m swaying along…
LANDSDALE, Pa. — A guitar in the care of local musician Andrew Sampson is treated with more respect and dignity than Sampson’s own body, multiple…
SOUTH BEND, Ind. — The Scott family is paying tribute to Wrigley, their former family dog and long-deceased canine, by keeping his name alive within…
LONDON — Legendary Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page is releasing his “totally original” and “not-at-all stolen” life story this month, entitled Black Mamba Voodoo Jive…
One unfortunate part of being a fan of older music is that some of it has aged rather poorly. Certain songs that were totally acceptable…
LOS ANGELES — In an effort to bolster declining viewership, the six-time Super Bowl-winning New England Patriots will perform during the Grammy Awards’ halftime show…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Chronically unemployed man and frequent HPV spreader Danny Feldman is completely unaware that his last three girlfriends all consider dating him to…
Dear Scabby: I met a rad girl at a show tonight where my dear friend was headlining. I gave her my number but realized it…
WASHINGTON — Local punk Jenn Schiffer plastered telephone poles all over Washington yesterday with “Missing” flyers, seeking the return of a Cryrot pin that fell…
AUSTIN, Texas. — Yesterday’s special, live taping of Green Day-themed podcast 20th Century Breakdown turned into a normal episode after failing to attract a single…
NEW YORK — The Lifetime Channel announced yesterday that they will renew the shocking new docu-series Surviving R. Kelly for eight more seasons, media insiders…
CHERRY HILL, N.J. — Graphic designer Mike Mingus is facing a crisis of conscience today, after a chance encounter between his previously uncontacted tribe of…
Instagram Witch Burned in Comments
SEATTLE — Self-identified witch Kay Clark was “burned” in the comments under several of her recent Instagram posts in the past week, a visibly shaken…