GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local 38-year-old Geoff Hammond informed his friends and family yesterday that he will finally change his longtime email address, mikedirntrox42@aol.com, in hopes…
ATLANTA — New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick will set yet another NFL record during the halftime show at Super Bowl LIII on Sunday,…
BOULDER, Colo. — Recently launched podcast Yes, ANDroids! officially features more hosts than actual listeners, according to the iTunes download statistics released this past Monday.…
STURGIS, S.D. — A three-year-old pair of Converse Chuck Taylor’s shoes were “fucking totally soaked” earlier today, thanks to inclement weather conditions and their overall…
PITTSVILLE, Wisc. — True crime enthusiast Walter Simmons was stunned last night to learn that he’d been murdered 10 years ago, according to the latest…
RACINE, Wisc. — Climate scientists predict that some indoor DIY music venue temperatures will plummet to a record low of less than 90 degrees, due…
DENVER — DIY zinester and sticker fanatic Peter Binder shelled out $1,200 on another laptop this week after running out of room for new stickers…
NEW YORK — Sony Music announced today a revival of their iconic “Now That’s What I Call…” compilation series, with the focus shifted from hit…
ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. — 21-year-old Marcy McDaniels voluntarily lied about her age last night to get backstage at a show headlined by hardcore band The…
PHOENIX — Lifelong punk Roddy Scotts assured a potential employer in an interview yesterday that, in five years, he sees himself posthumously headlining a benefit…
PHILADELPHIA — A group of local crust punks selflessly offered to help furloughed “bootlicking peons of the bloated and immoral federal government” yesterday by teaching…
CHICAGO 一 Local man Dillon O’Hayes messaged you on Facebook early this morning to confirm whether or not he saw you at that show this…
CHICAGO — Local woman and very loud porn watcher when she thinks she’s alone Amy Fritz realized late this afternoon that her roommate had actually…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Local punk Griffin Myers was hospitalized last night after provoking mythical scene veteran Butch “The Butcher” Caldwell, otherwise known as a “real…
Are all cops bastards? Yes. We know this because it’s been proven by punk’s top researchers. The same researchers who helped answer important questions like,…