ATHENS, Ga. — Local uninsured and ailing man Jordan Cohen announced today that he will “just give it a few more days” before seeking any…
BRIDGEWATER, Mass. — Your coolest cousin and basically “big brother” from ages 4-13, Donnie McGee, was finally released from prison earlier today, not-so-excited sources confirmed.…
WEST SENECA, N.Y. — Legendary crust punk Selma “Pusbubble” Gormin shocked her friends and fellow squatters this morning, announcing that she was “sick of this…
BARRE, Vt. — The small, tight-knit Barre hardcore community announced last week the arrival of the first openly gay member of their underground music scene,…
AURORA, Ill. — The frontman of Jewish punk band The Oi! Veys got a tattoo last week of an upside-down Star of David to express…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Members of the Tempe punk music scene attempted an ill-advised DIY blood drive last night, accidentally killing four beloved scene veterans, shocked…
CHAPEL HILL, N.C. — Detroit hardcore band Strength of Olympus implemented a new space and cost-saving measure during their most recent tour, printing just one…
NEW YORK — Popular review website GearJam.com “said goood bye to there steemed copyeditor” Devin Warren last month due to falling ad revenue from Facebook’s…
CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — Local punk Kenny Holmes offered to introduce Fannie Lane, the singer of Fannie and the Road Bandits, to her fellow members of…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — A flask tucked into the waistband of local man Jason Lambert successfully found its way into a small venue last night after…
SAN MATEO, Calif. — Mobile technology programmers laid out plans yesterday to incorporate a feature into every app that would enable users to swipe left…
LOS ANGELES — Shock rocker Marilyn Manson finally addressed years of rumors in a press conference this morning, denying any involvement with Pennsylvania pop-punk veterans…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local hardcore kid Pete Sheehan was overcome with emotions at a show yesterday after running into his ex-hoodie of two months, sources…
BALTIMORE — Depressed researchers at Johns Hopkins University suggest a proper night’s sleep should last between 14 and 18 hours per night, according to a…
SAN DIEGO — Local punk Chris Abernathy regretted his impulse decision to buy merch last night, wishing he waited until the show ended to purchase…