LANGHORNE, Pa. — Local clueless friend Jordan Schmidt overlooked the lifelong trauma of being dumped in the smelly black hole of a Denny’s parking lot…
NEW YORK — Producers of “Fox & Friends” announced today that they will move the popular news show from its regular shooting location in Rockefeller…
BERNALILLO, N.M. — The abandoned crusts on a medium, two-topping pizza purchased and eaten yesterday evening were seen in an entirely new way late this…
Many so-called critics will tell you that the show “Dinosaurs” was a visionary masterpiece and technological breakthrough in television. But in hindsight, “Dinosaurs” was downright…
LUBBOCK, Texas — Chicken farmer Todd Lowe admitted today that he’s fed up with the stream of people who are impeding his farm work by…
NEW YORK — Fortune magazine released the first-ever Misfortune 500 list last week, citing a need to highlight the “fucking losers of capitalism foolish enough…
Yes, we’re living through a global pandemic and COVID numbers are rising every day, but it’s still Rex Manning Day. Since the original release of…
TRAVIS COUNTY, Texas — Local college student Jason Manzano expertly danced around the subject of vaccination rollout last week upon returning home on break from…
NEW YORK — Newly separated couple Morgan Gregany and Riley Churchill will continue their relationship on a strictly utilitarian basis as friends with healthcare benefits,…
LOS ANGELES — Late 90s radio staples and current Twitter influencers Eve 6 are defending their text-based social media output today amid outcry that the…
RALEIGH, N.C. — Local woman Anne Al-Mandeel discovered last week that, in a whirlwind twist, her stand-up comedian ex-boyfriend is somehow worse than her musician…
BUENA PARK, Calif. — Popular instrument manufacturer Yamaha announced a partnership yesterday with flagship nü-metal band Korn to produce a signature model 89-key piano, excited…
JACKTOWN, Mich. – Local runner Mason Clement became increasingly fearful for their safety last night while listening to the podcast “My Favorite Murder” for the…
WASHINGTON — God’s only begotten son Jesus Christ is actively distancing himself and his constituents from Republicans across the globe upon his return to Earth…
BURLINGTON, Vt. — Festive plant-based parent Taryn Jacobs delighted her three children on Easter Sunday by hiding bottles of JUST Egg throughout her co-housing community’s…