DAVIS, Calif. — Guitarist of Native Weeds, lifelong fan of Woody Guthrie, and avowed anti-fascist Benjamin Spelling showed his displeasure last night at the presence…
Are you kidding me?! You’re gonna boycott Nike because they ran an ad starring a football player who was peacefully protesting systemic racism? How dare…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Recent trust-fund recipient and part-time blogger Nick Headon reportedly smirked yesterday while vigorously typing on his brand new MacBook Pro at Merritt…
LOS ANGELES — Singer/songwriter and self-proclaimed “antichrist” Marilyn Manson is in stable condition today recovering from spinal removal surgery that will enable him to lick…
BALTIMORE — Local punk Rick Blairowitz blamed his prominent neck tattoo for his inability to be hired, despite it being the only positive trait noted…
POMPANO BEACH, Fla. — The 11th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled today that a Sublime sticker on the back of a local man’s 1995 Nissan…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Aries, you can expect a much-needed break this week, when a months-long argument over who’s more punk finally reaches…
As the singer and frontman for a moderately successful local pop punk band I’d like to dispel the damaging rumors that all pop punk vocalists…
BALDWIN, N.Y. — Eric Goldstein’s bar mitzvah celebration on Saturday was ruined by his older cousin Chris Meyers, who crowd-killed and moshed throughout the sacred…
Comrades, the time is nigh! In socialist circles everywhere (mainly Twitter and Reddit) there have been whispers of the final signs of capitalism’s impending collapse-…
MORGANTOWN, W. Va. — Local woman Elle Bautista politely feigned interest moments ago after brunch date Cris Zahn revealed that she “had the fucking craziest…
NEW YORK — Renowned astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson publicly challenged the science behind the name of rock band 30 Seconds to Mars on Sunday night…
Having a calm, well-rounded discussion on the issues is getting more and more difficult every day. While it may be tough to see across the…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local grandfather Peter Cruz received a lesson in do-it-yourself ethics last night from his grandson, who explained basic DIY principles while inside…
CHESTERFIELD, Va — Local actor and improvisor James Elijah announced on Tuesday that he will delay a move to follow his dreams in Los Angeles…