EVANSVILLE, Ind. — Local delivery driver Mitchell Jenkins derailed a casual marijuana session on Thursday night after hitting a communal bowl with what witnesses called…
PLANO, Texas — Aging punk Jordie Farmer reportedly shaved down the sides of his back last night, creating a full torso extension of the mohawk…
Gun violence in America is an epidemic and a solution is needed. Gun control advocates recommend banning assault weapons such as AR-15s but let’s be…
TORONTO — Yoga enthusiast Melissa Christie discovered last night that her yoga mat had been used, presumably by one of her three roommates and their…
TUKWILA, Wash. — Tukwila musicians of all genres are mourning today after the town’s only competent drummer, Jeffrey Joyce, announced last night his intention to…
TUCSON, Ariz. — A local show’s merch line was held up last night for more than 11 minutes when aging punk rocker John “The Don”…
LOS ANGELES — Local goth Jenny Carlisle successfully subverted cosmetic trends earlier this week by having her asshole professionally darkened at a nearby salon, unenthused…
WORCESTER, Mass. — A grant application submitted by the University of Massachusetts Medical School for “the expressed intent of further gaining understanding in what the…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Don’t let judgement hold you back this week, Aries. Just because you’re 35 doesn’t mean you can’t go into Hot Topic…
FAIRVIEW, Kan. — Local mother Deanna Jones dropped off her eldest son Jason in the parking circle of Fairview High School this morning for the…
DENVER — The Instagram profile of user Viola Todd is starting to show the telltale signs of a slow, sinister transformation into a meme account,…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — 33-year-old house painter and disillusioned ska enthusiast Brady Taylor took a Sharpie to the white boxes on his checkered Vans Slip-Ons…
We live in a fatist culture. Whether it is magazine covers showing impossibly thin bodies, discrimination on dating websites, or people looking at me in…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local mother and hi-fi aficionado Peggy Lowell had a multitude of criticisms regarding her son’s tone following a family spat on Sunday…
NORMAL, Ill. — The recent crackdown on plastic straws across the U.S. has led to a surge in 3D printed drinking paraphernalia, according to a…