TULSA, Okla. — Local white student Tiffany Copeland took part in an ancient rite of passage today, effectively transforming into a full-blooded Native American by…
JERSEY CITY, N.J. — An unidentified man is still at large today after five separate incidents of parting people by delicately placing his hands on…
SEATTLE — Local dive bar the Sunken Gristle reopened yesterday after a three-month renovation period, with one modest change: a single pinball machine, and nothing…
AKRON, Ohio — Everyone attending last night’s metal show at the famed Forked Tongue venue thought your shirt was really cool, witnesses confirmed this morning.…
TORONTO — DEBASER fanzine editor Josh “Dishrag” Visser announced plans today to mark the publication’s 10th anniversary by releasing its third issue, excited sources confirmed.…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Be careful with that dynamic, childlike energy of yours this week, Aries. As charming as that characteristic may be, when the…
These days everyone is trying to be a better consumer. Whether it’s forgoing plastic straws, using a refillable water bottle, or burying our fecal matter…
BATON ROUGE, La. — A suspicious attic believed to be haunted for decades reportedly showed no signs of paranormal activity to investigators, who only uncovered…
STOCKTON, Calif. — Tensions mounted on Thursday as the burrito you were about to eat on your lunch break was named the “Official Burrito of…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local fan Brandon Pope’s merch booth conversation with members of touring band Ghost Summit got awkward at least 30 seconds ago, according…
ALLSTON, Mass. — A record-breaking number of millennials are joining multiple bands at a time to try to cover their daily expenses with little to…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Some astrologists say Aries are confrontational, but we say that’s fucking bullshit. Someone needs to tell everyone what posers…
Cracker. Honky. Whitey. Redneck. These are among the many terms that aren’t racist because it’s impossible to be racist to white people. Racism is a…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Roommates at punk/party house the Snake Pit are reportedly growing alarmed by the complete lack of water intake by fellow resident…
Let’s get one thing straight- my rifle collection could defend a small country. I could wipe out my entire town’s police force if they even…