OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local woman Maria Phillips narrowly escaped embarrassment yesterday when she convinced visitors that the sex toy she accidentally left out was actually…
Romance is dead and millennials killed it. Gone are the days of excitement, spontaneity, and fidelity. Instead, the “me me me” generation seeks out instant…
MISSOULA, Mont. — Local stoner Zannah Meyers concluded that the weed she smoked this afternoon must be “extremely shitty,” after a near-hour of puffing resulted…
ALLSTON, Mass. — Local musician Doug Robinson attempted to borrow a bassoon last night for his set with folk-punk octet Rat Solidarity, assuming one of…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Local parents Joyce and Rich Gloppin have severely overestimated their 9th-grade daughter Dani’s social standing and ability to obtain illicit, cool drugs,…
We are living in a golden age of suffering. My generation has filled too long the goblet of misery and now our cup runneth over.…
MISSOULA, Mont. — Uniformed Missoula Police officers David McClusky and Gerald Schmidt arrived 15 minutes before the opening act at the unlicensed venue The Gnarhouse…
WICHITA, Kan. — Local student Adam Irving was stunned to learn that Brick Teeth frontman Kevin Gillion had awarded the audience a coveted “Best Crowd…
TAMPA, Fla. — Local show-goer Tommy Gill was informed by irate staff at Fitzie’s Pub last night that the item he used as a bidet…
LONDON, England — A giant, nearly two-meter long baby was flown over London Square today, prompting confusion and outrage among local residents. The controversial appearance…
DENVER — Local anomaly and known dirtbag David Gunther has perplexed a team of scientists with his disgust at the hypothetical prospect of a woman…
LEXINGTON, Ky. — Local tattoo artist Jory Belden has created a book of preconceived conversation topics for clients refer to and choose from during their…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Single Aries should be on the lookout for a new “special someone” in places they might otherwise not look…
LOS ANGELES — Tech billionaire Elon Musk and legendary U2 frontman Bono announced today that, after years of testing and research, their team finally has…
Concert Video Blocked by Tall YouTube Comment
LOS ANGELES — Music aficionado and noted short person Heather Allred’s YouTube-watching experience was interrupted last night when a tall, clueless comment obstructed her view…