ATLANTA — Netflix subscriber Christina Hyeon’s Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt marathon was interrupted last night by a message announcing that the service “doesn’t give a fuck…
NEW YORK — Local crust punk Phil “Rat Face” Howland took creative measures last week to turn his uneven beard into a stronger representation of…
HEAVEN — St. Peter spent the afternoon guiding Anthony Bourdain through the rough-and-tumble part of Heaven where the best food trucks can be found, noting…
Whether you love or hate The Simpsons there’s one thing you can’t deny: They know how to stick to their guns. The 2017 documentary film…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — The Progressive Rock Defense League demanded earlier today that the Walt Disney Company feature a princess actively engaging in fandom of famed…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Feel free to take a mental health break today, Aries: you need it after all the mind games you’ve…
TEMPE, Ariz. — A badly scratched copy of The Offspring’s 1998 studio album Americana was rejected for trade-in by the staff of Zeta Records &…
PHILADELPHIA — Heavily tattooed barber Rob Moreno was reportedly “stoked” Saturday morning to give everyone the same style undercut at Brush & Steel, his trendy…
Everyone keeps talking about how bad gentrification is. I have to admit I’m not sure what gentrification means, but based on how it’s affected me,…
PHILADELPHIA — Members of a local DIY punk scene were stunned to learn last week that a small portion of their West Philadelphia community recently…
CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski reportedly may add a light gray sweater to her otherwise black wardrobe, potentially due to her fulfilling relationship,…
SEATTLE — Prospective model Magda “Mimi” Maiers had the Shutterstock watermark tattooed directly onto her forehead last week in the hopes of putting herself ahead…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local bouncer Terry Brawn initiated an important and revealing third look last night at a potential patron’s driver’s license before allowing entry…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Your temper will be your downfall this week, Aries. Pick your battles. Your Marxist memes on Facebook are concerning your family,…
BROOKLYN — Self-proclaimed Led Zeppelin expert Gil Costa cited local insufferable Tolkien aficionado Brian Turner yesterday as a major influence on Costa’s Zeppelin-themed social media…