PHILADELPHIA — An online dinner recipe for a simple, vegan-friendly lentil soup has allegedly been written as a “fucking novel for some reason,” hungry sources…
Aries (March 21-April 19) As an Aries, it’s no secret that you can be a giant diva from time to time… and you know what?…
DALLAS — Ricardo “the Scuzz” Garza tripled his net worth last night when he found a half of a pack of cigarettes on a venue…
SEATTLE — Amazon’s “Echo Chamber,” a next-generation smart speaker, will enable reaffirmation of users’ most dreadful opinions from anywhere in the house, company personnel revealed…
DALLAS, Texas — Concerned mother and sole reason for her children’s anxieties Pamela Yates suggested this morning that her kids “try listening to happier music,…
BOSTON — Craig Manning warned his fellow show attendees last night that there was a broken glass bottle on the floor of the venue, omitting…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Don’t waste your time with someone who isn’t going to change their mind. If you want to go on the…
DAYTON, Ohio — Local apartment tenant Adrian Delgado has filed his fifth noise complaint this month with building management, claiming that his next door neighbor…
ALLENTOWN, Penn. — Metal diehard James Allen used the online tax filing platform TaxSlayer yesterday to “eviscerate, desecrate, and properly file” his 1040EZ tax return,…
Barnyard hens from around the country are leading the fight for reproductive freedom using the oldest trick in the activist book: direct action. Pro-choice activism…
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — Google unveiled its latest homepage Doodle today, honoring punk pariah GG Allin with a controversial effort to celebrate punk history, disgusted…
NEW YORK — The 2003 Ford Windstar that brought punk trio ElecMan down the East Coast last month is also used by drummer Cara Milton’s…
MARIETTA, Ohio — Local toddler Samantha McKinnon was completely indifferent yesterday when her grandmother feigned taking Samantha’s nose during a family get-together, sources close to…
WASHINGTON — A new gastropub in the Bloomingdale neighborhood is “probably going to be named Hook & Barley or something stupid like that,” nearby residents…
BOCA RATON, Fla. — Local crust punk Johnny “Eight Fingers” Arnold awoke late Saturday afternoon to discover he had accidentally saved a park from demolition…