CLEVELAND — Local music store employee Sammy Howard takes every opportunity to inform customers that his band was “this fuckin’ close to making it huge,”…
In our nation’s current state of total buzzkill, it’s more important than ever to focus on what makes us the same rather than what makes…
CHICAGO — Singer/guitarist of political punk band Numb Chomsky and Global Political Systems Ph.D. candidate Miles “The Throat” Fitzsimmons realized during last night’s rehearsal that…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk band Eleanor Rugby are now able to perform spin attacks and wear upgraded armor following a show in which they were…
NEW YORK — Local artist Jamie Leroy is “making waves” in Brooklyn’s tight knit art community with her original, lactose foam-on-coffee visuals adorning customer’s lattes,…
All too often these days I see bands who only go their hardest on stage when there’s a huge crowd. This is exactly what the…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Local stoner Justin Shaw was charged with theft yesterday after stealing a candy bar in a crime not motivated by race, or…
LOS ANGELES — Bartender Parker McClaine of the trendy Tales of the Garden cocktail lounge is blatantly and equally inattentive to customers of all races,…
NEW YORK — Longtime political activist Lorenzo Marquez attempted to kick off a new protest chant at a march last weekend, but struggled to find…
MILWAUKEE — Thomas Hannigan, a 22-year-old with a family history of addiction and psychological disorder, is acting like a “complete baby, chickenshit buzzkill, and probably…
With demand growing higher and higher for artisanal, high-quality coffee drinks, it would APPEAR that America’s coffee palate is growing more refined. But is that…
BOSTON – The guy at the end of the bar wearing a gold necklace and brand-new, white Oakley sunglasses, who just ordered a third vodka-Monster,…
SAN FRANCISCO — Confused stoner Tyler Harrison participated in a sleep-study program believing the nocturnal testing session would actually be a thoughtful dissection of the doom-metal…
Sometimes after a long day at work I like to unwind with a couple drinks and write mean reviews for companies online. It’s kinda my…
Everything you wear in middle school is statement about your identity. From your shoes to the sweatshirt, your clothes help your peers recognize where you…