SALT LAKE CITY — A new QAnon theory circulating on message boards about the truth behind Daylight Saving Time is somehow more believable than the…
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local Pantera fan Blane Butts referred to another customer at Ingles Supermarket as an “intellectual” yesterday in an apparent attempt to insult…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local 33-year-old Darrell Ornsby realized yesterday that “the universe is a lie and life is a joke” as he transferred a load…
PARMA, Ohio — Local punk Matt Onofrio looks substantially worse after getting in better physical shape over the last several months, defying all laws of…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local coffee aficionado Sage Davis claimed today that he finally perfected his method for brewing the perfect cup of coffee, and all…
WASHINGTON —The American Association of Retired Persons announced yesterday that their bi-monthly magazine will now come with a copy of the once-popular “Punk-O-Rama” music compilation…
LUDLOW, Maine — Weeks after Rush Limbaugh’s devastated fans buried him in Pet Sematary hoping to reanimate the polarizing radio personality, Limbaugh defied all odds…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Scene members held a candlelight vigil last night for Gary Johnson, the still-alive merch guy for punk band The Orphan Molesters who…
Everyone knows about Christopher Walken’s enthralling “Pulp Fiction” monologue. But that’s not the only time this eccentric thespian has played a character with a secret…
LOS ANGELES — Self-proclaimed activist Jane Lipton is in hot water with her community today after calling the cops on an unhoused neighbor for their…
SAN FRANCISCO — The Day by the Bay Music Festival very sweetly doubled down on announcing lineup reveals and VIP ticket deals yesterday, despite all…
LOS ANGELES — Political commentator Ben Shapiro admitted today that he doesn’t like the paintings of renowned artist Georgia O’Keeffe because her works “look like…
SAN DIEGO — Seven-months pregnant 311 fan Shannon Kerrigan regrets using all of her favorite potential baby names on several sick bongs over the last…
Of the 178 reality shows MTV released between 2002-2005, none of them quite popularized using a blacklight to look for semen on bed sheets like…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Punk band Precedent Smashers celebrated the release of their new album “Bash the Cheeto” yesterday, which they believe will be the final…