FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — A proposed presidential library for disgraced former President Trump is expected to feature the world’s largest vintage VHS pornography collection, organizers…
CHICAGO — PUSHback frontman Chris Sheppard is now completely unrecognizable to his close friends and peers after not having gone to the gym throughout the…
WASHINGTON — America’s first-born males made a stunning about-face to decades of tradition yesterday by announcing they will no longer buy alcohol for siblings younger…
WASHINGTON — GOP official and QAnon superstar Marjorie Taylor Greene announced she will be breaking ground on a museum dedicated to the denial of the…
DALY CITY, Calif. — Local man Kevin Aguilar is completely unaware that his seemingly happy, long-term relationship will come to a swift and decisive end…
BILLERICA, Mass. — Local Brick Fist Boys crew member Sean Webster stood with his arms crossed in a recent photo for fear that he wouldn’t…
RYE, UNITED KINGDOM — Legendary musician and founding member of the Beatles Paul McCartney admitted today that he wished someone would occasionally ask him about…
FREDERICK, Md. — 48-year-old insurrectionist Mark Fleming is still struggling to understand how nobody noticed that he kidnapped Tiffany Trump during the chaos that took…
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Local neo-fascist Greg Pough retired as an active member of the Proud Boys today following a three-second embrace with his father that…
NEW YORK — Leading economists warned today that raising the minimum wage to $15 will severely impede the ability of elite Americans to be born…
HUNTINGTON, N.Y — Part-time barista and avid Marilyn Manson fan, Scuff Leeway underwent an invasive spine removal surgery in an effort to reach batshit arguments…
In November of 2020, science, love, and decency conquered all that stood in the way of justice, and America got on the right side of…
DENVER — Newly single man Chris Fangerburg held a moment of silence for his former relationship today, lowering the toilet seat in his recently rented…
CHICAGO — Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan finally noticed yesterday that “minimum wage” rhymes with “rat in a cage,” according to horrified sources who have…
BALTIMORE — Local Zoom show attendee Bryant Nelson sent fellow showgoer Sage Mykels unwanted messages in the chat of Wood Leg Work’s virtual show last…